Oh how we love him, young Master Tables…

xkcd strikes again…

So, I’ve been on the phone for the past 30 minutes listening to some lady in India working for HP tech support try to convince me that the IP addresses in use on my network are incorrect because they do not begin with 192.168.

Oh my.

Darla has this posted on her site. She credits “Joe” for the image.

Wow. Holy half-truths Batman.

While there are technically no lies on that image, it doesn’t really seem to tell the whole tale. Let’s see..

• GPS and turn-by-turn directions – Yes, it’s indeed true, the N95 has a built-in GPS. During the nearly a month that I had an N95 (and no, it wasn’t a proto), I found the GPS nearly useless. It was unbearably slow to lock on. I’m talking like 5 minutes guys. And the turn-by-turn directions – those cost extra.
• Wireless stereo – A2DP is indeed present on the N95 and is missing on the iPhone, at least at launch. Since Nokia was able to add A2DP to recent N73 firmware releases, I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to think that we may yet see A2DP on an iPhone software update. Regardless of the device in question, A2DP will drain your battery.
• Second camera for video calling – Since the iPhone is (thus far) only for sale in the US, this is a non-starter. The N95 can only do video calls on a 3G network. The only UMTS band supported in the N95 is 2100 Mhz, not available in the US.
• Video-out port – I believe, like other video-capable iPods that have come before, the video output comes via the headphone jack.
• Removable battery – I’m torn here. Yes, it’s true, the N95’s battery can be swapped, and the iPhone’s cannot be swapped. However, this fails to address the abysmal battery life afforded to N95 users. Less than a day on a single battery? That’s just bad, like on an epic scale.

Kids, there’s room enough for both of you. There are lots of things that both camps can learn from the other.

I’m a big S60 user (work phone is an E65, home phone is an N73). I’m also a fan of Apple products. Neither side has the perfect phone. Fanboi-ism doesn’t help, regardless of what side it’s coming from.

Wow. I’ve got a new definition for “devotion.” You decide to tattoo the logo of your MP3 player on your arm.

I can only hope it’s a joke and photoshopped.

Dude, go outside or something. And next time, wait until something is going to be sticking around before you go tattooing it on yourself, if being stabbed thousands of times is your thing… I’m not even to go into the list of how many ways the iPod is better than the Zune. At this point, it’s been beaten to death so badly, that I’m surprised “Zune” is not synonymous with “bad tech”.

Welcome to the social, indeed.

This one goes out to Phil, who wanted to read this here.

Yes, I know, it’s a bunch of commercials for pants. It’s true.

Get over to YouTube and watch the videos from Haggarfilms. You’ll laugh yourself silly.

Clearly, the guys at Motorola have gone off the deep end, lost it, gone ‘round the twist, lost their marbles, gone bonkers or whatever.

Eh? Moto has patented a phone that releases a scent while the user is talking. As if there weren’t enough features on a phone to chew up batteries, now we’ve got to expend power to heat a scent pack too.

I’m so not kidding either. Really, I’m not late for April Fools Day here. I’m particularly fond of the name that Engadget hung on the phone.. The MOTOSNIFR.

So, save your pennies kids, it won’t be long until you’ll be dying for a phone that smells like lilacs or vanilla. Or not.

Forbes is running a story about a couple of companies that I’ve never heard of, Media Rights Technology and BlueBeat.com.  Seems the kids at MRT and BlueBeat think they’ve got a DRM solution that would keep people from copying digital media.  Ok, so it’s just another DRM solution, right?

Apparently not.  The brain trusts at MRT and BlueBeat believe that Apple, Microsoft, Adobe, Real and others need their products so much that they’re suing.  They’ve send cease & desists to Adobe and Real for “actively avoiding their X1 SeCure Recording Control.”

Ok, so under the DMCA, you can send a C&D for circumventing a security mechanism, but this is a whole new level.  Now threatening lawsuits because I didn’t buy and use your product?  That’s just stupid.

Hey guys, maybe they just don’t want your product.

“It’s like trying to put 10 pounds of traffic in a 1 pound bag.”

Thank you Pete Toriello of NJ 101.5.

Over lunch today, somehow, our conversation wound up including the music of Bon Jersey..errr..Jovi. So, it never occurred to me, or my buddy that I was lunching with, that these guys are the masters of the cliche. Consider a sampling of song/album titles from the band:

• Have A Nice Day
• Slippery When Wet
• Last Man Standing
• Last Cigarette
• Story Of My Life
• The One That Got Away
• Lonely At The Top
• Wanted Dead or Alive
• Livin’ on a Prayer
• Bad Medicine
• It’s My Life
• Keep The Faith

Eeek, the list goes on and on and on. These guys have made a career out of putting cliches to hair-band music. We’re hypothesizing that their next smash hit album will include such tunes which will rocket up the charts like:

• One Good Turn Deserves Another
• A Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned
• Don’t Take Any Wooden Indians
• Do Unto Others As You’d Have Them Do Unto You
• Needle In A Haystack

Currently playing in iTunes: Life on the Edge by Eli

You have a child, the hospital sends you home with a gift. It’s a diaper bag filled with formula coupons, formula, bottles, nipples, etc. It’s also got a leaflet on breast-feeding that says something clever like, “breast feeding is best!” They call it something fun like a “Breast Feeding Kit”.

So, if you gave someone a bag filled with Twinkies with a business card for the local gym, does that make it a “Weight Loss Kit”?

Yikes.